Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Danger, Will Robinson!

Pacifica, CA
Outside of San Francisco
We are sitting on a cliff by the sea, and the inevitability of its collapse is weighing on my mind. The water is rough, pounding our cliff, and the winds are so high as to rock us from side to side, alternately terrifying and lulling us to sleep. It’s been like this for almost 48 hours. Last night the sign on the fence that said, “Danger. Do not go beyond this sign. Cliff is unstable,” blew off and fell into the sea.

I have already formulated a plan in my mind for escaping the bus and running behind it to move the car so John can back up in a hurry, should the inevitable happen while we are parked here, in the best and most treacherous spot in the park. We have a 180 degree view of the Pacific with no impediments, but that also means there’s nothing between us and the water.

A few years ago, the Pacific claimed an entire row of houses on the street next to our cliff. Now there’s a whole row of apartments a block down that’s been condemned, despite the fact that three times this year the town dumped mega-tons of boulders at the water’s edge. Obviously the sea will not be denied. Obviously there will be a year when our preferred spot at the water’s edge will be unavailable simply because it’s just not there anymore.

I just hope it doesn’t happen today.

The real culprit is the rain, which has been pouring down for not just days, but weeks. The sun is shining now, but the sky is otherwise grey and the fog is rolling in, as it has at least twice a day since we’ve been here. It’s just so San Francisco.

And now it’s raining. That’s all it took. One paragraph, and it's pouring again.

I think I’ll back up now. Why wait for me to prove me right. I don’t need to say, “See? I told you so” to myself, now do I.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve in the Bus

Pacifica, CA
Just South of San Francisco

What you've heard about the rains in Southern California is true. It rained for over a week while we passed through. We were silly enough to get both the bus and the car washed during a break in the deluge, but it rained steadily on our trip north to San Francico and both arrived covered in mud. Then again, there were moments like these, when the clouds would part, and the blue of the real sky would peek through.

Quite magnificent.

We have been in Pacifica for two days now, and the weather is holding, although it's forecast to make us wish for an ark on Christmas day, tomorrow. We're parked right on the ocean with a view that is a gift in itself, and I learned yesterday that the cliff is eroding and promises to lose another six feet in the next heavy rain. We may just back up a bit, since that could be a Christmas gift to rival all the bad ties and Chia Pets you've ever received.

But even in our comparatively small space, the Christmas spirit reigns. You make do as best you can, and live in happy chaos, as you will see. We always buy too much wrapping paper, and then have a small competition as to who has purchased the best paper. We all have our traditions, and this is one of ours. Last year I bought a small live tree, but even a three foot tree is too big for a bus, so I put it up outside. Unfortunately this time of year is the blowingest of all San Francisco seasons, and all it did was fall over. So this year I opted for a different holiday touch. People have been passing by and photographing it, go figure.

With all the huzzah and wrapping and stacking, Zeus can't figure out where to go. He keeps lying down on crinkly paper and getting upset. Right now he's standing on the back of the couch, the only place without bows, paper, ribbons or to-be-wrapped.





I guess Christmas just isn't a dog's ideal holiday. Too much craziness and no place to rest. But by this time tomorrow, it will be all over and things will begin to settle down. We'll store the extra paper, so that next year we will forget and buy more, and end up, as always, with too much. Some traditions just keep on happening.

Merry Christmas
Love
Betty

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Houseful of Good Wishes

On the Road
Bakersfield to San Francisco

My New Zealand cousin Jenny Jeffares tells me my blog is getting moldy, and I can see how that could be true. First of all, after almost three years, not so much is new about this RV living. Wake up, make coffee, see who emailed me, shower, dress, wash the dishes, make the bed, get going on the day. Gee, sounds like a house, doesn’t it.

Speaking of which, we slapped our retirement account in the face by buying a sweet house in Florida, somewhere we could go and have down time in. With everything I had hoped for, including a beautiful pool. I have visions of a dinner party with the pool lighted and candles all around. Oh it will be lovely.


But when will it happen? Now that’s a good question. Right now, we’re in California for Christmas with Jeff, then we’ll head to Palm Springs, then Quartzsite Arizona for a rally of Beaver Coach owners, even though we’ve sold ours. We’re still FOB – Friends of Beavers. And besides, Quartzsite is near friends Irwin and Randy, and has wonderful Southwestern beads straight from China at amazing prices. Then in February we’ll go back to LA and fly to Cabo for a Mexican month. We won’t even be back to our little house until mid-March.

My book has been stalled since we bought this house and I am feeling guilty about losing momentum, especially since there has been some interest in it from a couple of publishers. But the thrill of making a home and furnishing it has been all-consuming. It’s just not something you want to do online, although you can buy just about anything online, including a couch.

Tomorrow is Jonathan’s birthday; he would have turned 40. It’s been seventeen years since he joined the angels in heaven, but it still feels new, especially around this time of year. He was the best Christmas present I ever got, and Jeff was the best Birthday present. And you wonder why I love the holidays so much.

JONATHAN

JEFFREY

We’ll go out to dinner with Jeff and Hannah to celebrate his life and toast him in heaven. It will be a happy-sad time, but it is our tradition and we wouldn’t miss it.

Then there are all the gifts to wrap, a more modest selection than in years past, but there’s that house to furnish, remember. And besides, as we grow more and more golden, as in golden years, stuff just doesn’t do it so much anymore. We’re really about experiences, as evidenced by this peripatetic lifestyle. Look it up; it’s a great word.

So maybe for Jeff’s birthday, we’ll give him an experience – like a week at our new house in Florida, did I mention we bought a house?

I’d like to bake some cookies, but probably won’t get around to it. My oven works, but the tray is so small it takes hours just to make a couple of dozen. Besides, I always eat up half of what I’ve baked before they’ve even cooled. And I’m boring. There aren’t any cookies worth baking except chocolate chip. I made them with macadamia nuts from one of those frozen mixes last week and man, my eyes crossed with the pleasure of each bite.

So here I travel, currently cookie-less but salivating as I write this, and the California rains keep acomin’. Lordy, it’s wet. It’s been pouring here all up and down the state for a week or more. There are mudslides everywhere, road closings and collapses, and it’s neither warm enough or dry enough. I’m wearing socks for the first time in two years and I’m still cold to the bone.

Zeus is under his blanket and John’s wearing a sweater. Boy is he ever going to love his Christmas sweater. It’s perfect for this weather. Jeff will love his too. It’ll probably be his eleventh grey sweater; that boy is in a rut. Christmas sweaters is another tradition I just can’t break with, house or no house. I’ll just have to forego that guest room headboard. You won’t care, will you?



Merry Christmas everyone.
Love
Betty

Friday, November 5, 2010

Where in the World

As Lisa would say, Hello My Facebook Friends. Or rather, blogger readers.

I've never met anyone more upbeat than Lisa, my sister-in-law Donna's sister. Except maybe Peggy Mascia, who would call the devil sweetheart, kiss his cheek and turn him into an angel in 30 seconds flat.

I've learned a lot from these two about the power of happiness. It's about being happy, not waiting for happiness to show up. You'd be at the bus station a long time if you did that.

We're happily on the road again, leaving behind for a week or so the mortgage commitment, house inspection, door repair and furniture purchases, the arranging for the move of what's left of our old house that is in storage, and the trip to NY to oversee same. For now, we're just lazin' along, headed southerly on the west coast of Florida.

We should hitch up with Tony and Ellen, Art and Marge (or as I have always called them, Mart and Argie) this weekend, and then Nancy and Gary next week. So it will be a lovely Tarrytown reunion all around. I will collect all the latest townie gossip from Tony, who seems plugged into the local news there, pass it on to John, and we will bask in the glow of old friendships. That silver and gold thing is true, by the way. Old friends are golden.

Actually we're mostly gray, but we won't talk about that.

We had hoped to do the East Coast of Florida, but our new home calls to us and we need to be around, so it will be a quick trip back up to North Florida, where it was still in the 80's until the rain last night that cooled everything off. I wouldn't call this Fall, but it's nice to have a long sleeved shirt on. My t-shirts are looking awfully boring to me at this point. I need some variety.

Boy, I sure am boring if all I have to talk about is t-shirts and the banality of what I put on my back. I'll try and be more interesting next time. Meantime, I'm off to add a few words to the book. I only have 80,000 more to go. Piece a' cake.

Love to everybody.
B

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Elegy in a Country Bus

How long I have been soldiering on?
Seems like ages you’ve been gone.
Tears, regrets, remorse have I
There’s just no sparkle in my eye
No sunshine glint here any more
Only dullness at the core
Nothing helps, I have to say
I know. I've tried. But life's still grey.
No matter how I try to shine
Nothing works if you’re not mine
I miss you so, I need you too
Just how much, I never knew
Water spots and soapy rings
Brillo marks on everything...
O shining platters, sparkling glass
O dishwasher, I miss your ass.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pennies from Heaven

Pueblo Bonito Sunset Beach Resort
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

I’m sitting poolside at the top of a little mountain in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. My son and his novia Hannah are beside me and they appear to be in love. She’s just the girl I have been hoping for and I already love her to pieces. My husband is deep into his book and has that “soon to be asleep” look on his face. Life couldn’t get any sweeter than it is.

Or so I thought.

Then I finally got into a wi-fi zone here at the resort and read my emails, and there among all the ads, real estate notices for hovels in South Hampton, requests to have my long-dead Jeep in for service, and suggestions that I check out some of the fabulous bargains on eBay, there in the middle of the morass was a letter from Penny.

Now I don’t even know Penny, but she made my day, let me tell you. I have gotten rather lazy and distracted lately, especially since my pathetic attempts at making jewelry have met a measure of success – I mean, a necklace for a rock group, what a coup! And people are ordering my Baby Mama Bracelet for wives, grandmothers and baby shower gifts. I’m a happy puppy.

But like Erma Bombeck, who used to polish her paper clips rather than get down to the business of writing, I have been using any and all excuses to not do what I really should do. At least that’s what the universe appears to be telling me. Write, they say, and so I should.

And I’ve been getting away with it, despite prompts from the dedicated blog readers among my friends and family. Yeah, sure, sure. I’ll get to it. It’s just that we’re going to Mexico. And it’s just that I have to make these five necklaces for the Gregg Rolie Band and none of the parts came in, so I have to scramble to make the due date. And it’s just that I’m sitting by the pool and so on and so on.

Then Penny, my email angel, comes from out of the ether and lets me know she’s disappointed in my performance. I haven’t been living up to my promise to chronicle this bumpy life of mine since we committed to the turtle life, i.e, living with our home on our backs and traveling these United States.

I’ve never met this angel, but I will be forever grateful to her, and to all those people who have been following my blog and reminding me that I still have a job to do. I had no idea that people who’ve never met me might just enjoy what I had to say.

The truth is, I’m writing a book, a novel, and basing some of her adventures on my own travels and travails in the Betty Bus. My heroine is a woman whose husband abruptly leaves her after 17 years of marriage and …. Well, you’ll just have to wait for the book, won’t you.

Penny’s little nudge about the blog was that shot of confidence I needed to continue on with the first rewrite of the first half of the book, which I’d decided just wasn’t good enough. Rewrites are daunting but if I can make this book really, really funny, maybe Penny and people like you will be interested in buying, borrowing or downloading it. Or stealing it. If Abby Hoffman didn't care, why should I.

So thanks Penny. You’ve done me a big favor, and I appreciate it. And I promise. I’ll write again soon. I' not done with these adventures of mine, for sure.

Your new BFF.
Betty

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Nation of Hairdressers

Illinois, headed for Wisconsin

I am a natural blonde. Or I was, once. When I was born my hair was so white, people compared me to Brad Pitt in that movie where he goes from old to young over the course of his life. Okay, that movie wasn’t out yet, but where do you think they got the idea?

I was a towhead for all my growing up years, and I soon became aware of its color, its silkiness and its length. For a chubby kid, my hair was my beauty spot and if I didn’t particularly like my eight-year-old figure, I could always revel in my head with its long silky locks.

It darkened over time, of course. Nobody has that kind of hair when they’re past puberty. Or rather, nobody comes by it naturally. Sorry, Britney Spears, your secret is out.

My hair is naturally wavy, not curly or straight, and very susceptible to humidity, which sort of puts me in nowhere land, style-wise. In college I used to iron my hair. Or wrap it around toilet paper rolls. The problem was, I’d fall asleep on them and wake up with crushed toilet-paper-roll hair. You don’t want to know.

I got married, had a baby, then another, and my hair grew gradually darker. Dark blonde, I was, by then. And then I hit 40 and welcomed my first white hairs. Like my grandmothers on both sides, I never had grey hair. It went from blonde to white. Which was kind of cool for a while, except that eventually the white started asserting itself a bit too much for me, so I began to color it. I found a great colorist at Frederic Fekkai, a name you might have heard of, who only charged me $250 to put my “real” color back.

That got old pretty fast, and I switched to Barbara, then Louise, then Kit, then Barbara again, because she was the best of the lot. Not a $250 hairdresser, but not cheap either. Then I retired and “fixed income” took on real meaning, so I began to get to know Miss Clairol. I found that Monsieur L’Oreal delivered a better product, so I switched again.

But remember, I live in a bus, where the water is pumped in from outside, and you are at the mercy of that campground guy with the beer belly and suspenders, oily t-shirt and sweaty brow, who may just think that recycled or heavy salinated water is just as nice as softened water and a lot cheaper, so as good as your dye job is, the water may make it look like straw anyway.

First we bought a water softener, then we bought a whole new bus with a built-in water softener. That helped a little. But still I longed for the good old silky shiny days.

So I ventured outside the bus and got to know small town USA salons.

I’ve had my hair done in thousands, okay hundreds, of small towns, at prices ranging from $32 to $175, and let me tell you a $175 job isn’t a whole lot better than a $32 job. More importantly, it’s interesting to see what various hairdressers call blonde.

Gary in Florida, who came highly recommended, and whose salon looked like a cross between an Egyptian palace and a 20’s bawdy house, decided blonde was dark brown with white stripes. Wide white stripes.

Gina in Ohio tut-tutted over that one, and decided the only way to fix it was to cross-hatch the dark color as it grew out. I was plaid for a few weeks. Not to worry. I went to CVS and bought a $9.99 hank of fake hair and tacked it onto the back of my slicked-back hair. It was 104 degrees in Kentucky, so it was cooler that way, anyway.

Mary up in Syracuse seemed to know her stuff. Then she smiled and revealed a single front tooth. My color looked like a single tooth would work with it. Hey, no problem. I washed it right away, and some of the orange came out.

Ralph in Pacifica, just below San Francisco, gave me brown for Christmas. He kept asking me for my number. He was gay, so I was confused Turned out colors are numbered and he wanted to know if I was a 6, 7, 8 or 9. I think he made me a 5. As in brunette. My husband thought it was “different” but my son was not amused. He’s the honest one in the family.

I’m headed back to New York, eventually, where I’m hoping Barbara hasn’t retired to the world of punk rock with a little punk rock baby – I know her other life and it scares me, but she can cut and she can color.

I’m going to ask her about a Brazilian. Not a person, and not what you’re thinking of, but a new hair process that makes your frizzy, dry, unkempt hair exceptionally long and strong, sleek and chic. You have to put up with lank for three days while it does its thing but you emerge a diva and your hair is lush, full and glorious. I’ve heard it costs $350, and this is way out of the ballpark, but maybe all my friends who’ve done it are lying. You never know.

Meanwhile, you’d love how my glasses, all three pair of them, one for reading, one for sun, and one for driving, hold back my mop, hide the streaks and generally give me the look of a cool, confident “I’m worth it” woman.

And I am. In a small-town kind of way.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Camptown Lady

Natural Springs Resort County Park
Owensboro, Kentucky


You’d think it would be easy.

You pull into a beautiful county park. It looks deserted. The temperature is 104 at 4 in the afternoon. There are lakes galore. A pool. Golf carts. A horse in a corral. Even a go-cart setup.

The office has a snack bar that promises grilled cheese, burgers and other assorted deadly American food. Perfect. We won’t have to cook. We can park, have a swim, grab a burger and watch TV in the air conditioning and go to bed refreshed. There’s a country music concert on Saturday night that promises to be fun.

I’m excited for this break in the long hours of driving.

There’s a nice lady behind the registration counter. John gets a spot. We drive half way to California and there it is. With a nice view of the dumpster. And trees that make it impossible for him to negotiate the turn. In this huge park, isn’t there something nicer?

I drive our little tow car back to the office and ask, sweetly, if there might be something else. But with 50 amps of electricity. We need that much to run the AC.

“Wayl,” she says, “Let’s see. Y’see, that’s the problem. I don’t have much that can accommodate your vee-hickle. But maybe …”

“I just don’t want to be near the dump, “ I say. “How abut that one right there?” I say, pointing to a lovely spot overlooking a small lake right across from the office.

“Oh, that one is too small for you.” She says.

“No, I’m sure it’s fine, “I say. “I checked it out.”

“No, your car won’t fit.”

“I’ll park the car in the parking lot.”

“No, let’s see if there’s something else. Now here’s a spot that has everything you need, but there’s someone coming in tomorrow.”

“That’s perfect,” I say, “We’re leaving in the morning.” A sudden decision. I can miss the concert. At this point, I just want to be back in the air conditioning with my pajamas on. This whole negotiating thing has taken almost 20 minutes. I’ve left out the part about 7 spots that were offered and then retracted for one reason or another.

“No,” she says, “that one’s reserved.”

“But for tomorrow,” I say. “We’ll leave early. I promise.” Now I’m planning getting up at dawn. John will love this one.

“No,” she says, staring at her computer screen, apparently mesmerized. “That’s not gonna work for me.”

The negotiations continue. This one doesn’t have 50 amps, this one is booked, this one has too many trees, this one has someone coming in for the weekend. The weekend! It’s only Thursday and we’re only staying for one night! Half a night! Twenty minutes! I’m getting desperate.

Finally, among at least two hundred empty sites, she finds one. It’s a pull-thru, yes! With 50 amps, yes! With no satellite or cable, because this is the country, honey. Fine, I’ll do without.

John can’t figure out what’s taking so long. He drives the bus over to the office and the nice lady shows him on the map of the campground, the precious, one-of-a-kind spot. We head for it.

It’s a nice spot on a little hill with a view of, oh I don’t know, something acceptable, I guess. We pull in, set up, and hook up. And nothing. Nothing works. We don’t have electricity. It’s not working. We’re going to die in this heat, in this giant coffin. Even the dog is grumpy now.

Half an hour later, the bus is an oven, but the camp’s handyman has fixed the problem. Oh joy. We eschew the burger, drown our sorrows in beer, ice-cold from our own refrigerator, and wait for the cool to kick in. Ah, there it is.

It happens that we’ve pulled into another time zone, so we could stay up an extra hour, but instead, we hop under the covers with our books and read until the eyelids begin to shutter. After all, tomorrow is another day and, since we’re leaving, another campground. We need our beauty sleep.

We’ll have to be fresh for the next round of negotiations.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Compliments to Mother Nature

On Rte 90 heading for Hudson, Ohio

A few days ago, when we were in Connecticut, Laurie and Mark Johnson very sweetly asked us if we would like to join them for dinner on their anniversary, that night. We declined, saying we'd been (pity) pre-invited by Pam and Dick, but thanked them for offering to share their special day with us. Imagine. Two pity invites in one day. We certainly are worth feeling sorry for, obviously.

Instead, we are now headed for Hudson Ohio, to which they've only just returned, to keep the dinner date and celebrate their anniversary belatedly. On my sister Kathy's birthday, ironically. (Why that is ironic I can't tell you. Maybe coincidentally is the better word, but it certainly isn't as interesting.)

After all my carping about the hot weather last month, I felt it incumbent on me to remark on Mother Nature's recent gift of low temperatures, low humidity and high clouds in blue sky. It's been fabulous, hasn't it. And great sleeping weather. We kept all the shades up so the breeze could waft through our bedroom, which also meant the sun showed up earlier than I wanted, waking most of the campground.

Why is it that some people think 5 in the morning is not the nighttime? Why do they insist on walking their pooches at that hour ... and talking to them in full outside voice? "Good boy, nice poopie, good dog, ready for a run? Yeehah! Let's go!"

Do they really think the dog is interested in their patter at that hour? My dog hears it, wurfs in his sleep, adjusts, then goes right back to snoring. Now that's a dog worth having, let me tell you. And I never have to give him a poop pep talk. He just does it. Then again I watch Cesar Millan regularly and know all about dog psychology. My dog is in balance, as Cesar would observe. And being an old dog, he likes to sleep late, same as his owners.

Nevertheless, it was nice to get up and brew a cuppa early in the morning and enjoy the rising sun, the sweet breeze and the pearls of dew on the grass outside. Not to mention doing the NYT Sunday Crossword on line. I'll bet Joyce and Pam and Dick and Maggie and Fred haven't even started yet. Heh heh.

Okay, now I'm going back to sleep. John's driving, the road is flat and wide, and my eyes are closing. It's 11 in the morning. Time for my nap. Obviously.

B

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Dropping of the Other Shoe

Not Lake Placid

I knew it couldn't last.

We are not in Lake Placid. We are not camped on a serene lake with view. We are in a KOA Kampground (sic) in a heavily wooded area in the town next to Lake Placid with no view. There is a busload of French Canadian kids camped out nearby with what appears to be all of two adults with them.

Our first site was a muddy slope which assured us we'd never ever be able to level this monolith. It's just too big for the world. Went back and requested another site. It took almost half an hour, but we were moved to the site next door. Fine.

John backed the bus straight into a tree and put a three-inch crack in our fiberglass hull as I ran up to him, arms waving, yelling stop stop stop. He didn't didn't didn't.

I opened the door and he looked at me and said, "I hate this place already."

I suspect we'll be coming home early.

Stay tuned.
Betty

A Three State Day

From CT through MA to NY Upstate

I have been home with friends and family (too briefly with family) for much of July, and after numerous dinners out, reunions by the score, two bridal showers, a baby shower and a funeral, we are once again on the road, headed for someplace I’ve heard about all my life, but have never seen: Lake Placid.

The bus is behaving well, nothing has fallen out of the refrigerator, and our little Honda is tagging along behind us with no surprises. I’m unfamiliar with all this serenity. Why isn’t the dog barking? Why isn’t anyone passing us on the wrong side? Why isn’t some trucker giving us the finger just because we are also driving a big rig and didn’t have to go to trucker school or get a special license?

All this peace is making me nervous.

We aren’t even arguing about driving skills or lack thereof. Am I asleep? Is this a dream?

No, it’s just one of those perfect days when it all seems to fall into place and Bad Luck takes a holiday from the Betty Bus.

I guess we’re just getting ready for Lake Placid. La dee da.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Grumpy Hot Friday

Croton Point Park

If this isn’t the worst Friday night I have ever spent in my life, it has got to be up there with those others that for now I don’t remember, grumpy as I am with this particular one. No, I’m not complaining.

Yes I am! Of course I’m complaining. I have a right to. I didn’t ask for this Friday night, and I didn’t expect it. I just got it. John is away and I'm dealing with this all by myself.

First of all, it’s 92 degrees in this bus. I am wearing as little as I can without becoming a campground stripper, but it doesn’t do much good. The washcloth I soaked with cold water is actually mildewing as I write. It’s so hot the dog took a nap at nine this morning and hasn’t stirred since. He’s not dead, I don't think.

What happened was this: Yesterday I wanted to go to NYC, so I washed my hair. Of course I did. You always wash for the big time, don’t you? We had all three air conditioners on, so John turned on the generator so I could use my hair dryer.

Suddenly all three air conditioners went dead. Was this my fault, I ask you? Not really, I learned today. We just shouldn’t have tried to air-condition the entire coach when we were plugged in to 30 amps.

Who knew from amps? It was working, the coach was cool, and I wanted to dry my hair. No biggie, I thought.

Apparently it was such a drain on the campground’s meager electrical supply that once we switched over to generator power, it didn’t know what to do with all that electricity, so a power surge occurred, frying the outside hookup and almost causing a fire, and apparently killing all our A/C compressors. God knows what that will cost.

So the nice guys from the county park came over and spent almost the entire day working on the outside hookup. They got it fixed, and that’s when I learned the trouble wasn't just outside; it was inside too. So now I have power, but only fans, and no air-condish. OMG it’s 92 in here.

Meanwhile, I did what housework I needed to do, which was basically washing some dishes, and Phil the park worker came to the door. His face was pale. Funny I hadn't notice that before.

“Did you just use the bathroom?” he asked.

I told him, no, I’d done the dishes. The relief was immediately apparent. “Oh,” he said, “because you’ve got a leak in your sewer line and it just soaked my pants up to the knees.”

Eyuuuu. Or maybe phew. It wasn't the bad water. It was good water.

Then I looked down at my hands, and the dish-washing (seriously, two glasses, a pot and a dish, give me a break) had managed to chip two brand new French manicured nails – which I had done yesterday, at a cost of $40.

“Sorry,” I said, “Keep on working. I’ve got an emergency.” I jumped in the car. I decided I wouldn’t go back to the original nail parlor. It was too far, and I was too hot, and they were too lame at French manicures. I went locally.

Ah. It was air-conditioned.

I sat for a heavenly 45 minutes, decided I’d get the whole manicure completely redone – because after all, when I do the dishes tomorrow, I’ll probably chip another two fingernails.

Joy fixed my nails, Pat gave me a backrub, and Lee the owner charged me $80.

What!!!!! I’ve never paid that much for a manicure, even a costly gel manicure like I usually get. Tops is $40. But this time, to keep my fingers looking well-tended, I have thrown away $120.

Not only that, the air conditioner fixer (or almost-fixer, if you will) deserved a tip, so I gave him a bottle of water, then a beer, then $20, then one of my favorite necklace creations for his wife. Then his two assistants were looking sort of left out, so I gave them each a pair of sterling silver earrings from my collection.

This day has cost me in the neighborhood of $250 and it’s still 92 degrees in here.
You’d be grumpy too.

I was going to treat myself to dinner out, but instead I settled for Kraft mac n' cheese, not the healthiest dinner, but comfort food at least.

I think I’ll take myself to a movie. But only if I can sneak Zeus in; we're compatriots in this rotten Friday. And if I’m lucky, they won’t notice I’ve brought my jammies and pillow too. I'll let you know.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Gift of Needing

Susquehanna Valley, PA
On our Way to the Poconos

The best gift you can ever give to a friend is to say, “Please come, I need you.” I am only now just learning the truth of this in practice, although I was once the giver of this gift without being particularly aware of it.

When my son Jonathan died, I was devastated. Beyond that. There aren’t words to express how his sudden passing affected me. I was helpless. So grief-struck, my entire body ached. My arms, suddenly empty of his beautiful presence, actually hurt. I forgot to arrange for his burial. I forgot to put a notice in the paper. I forgot to tell my friends. I didn’t eat for six days. I had to be prompted to exist, it seemed.
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And yet, here was my brother and John’s brother, both driving some 70 miles at breakneck speed just to be with us when we went to the funeral home. Here was my sister, staying in a motel, for god’s sake, just to be close if I needed her. Here were my friends, answering the phone, cooking meals, keeping lists, making arrangements, sitting quietly with me, while their own families made due without mom and dad at home. I needed every one of them and I was in no condition to even ask. But I never said no.

At the graveside, I invited everyone to come back to the house, as is the tradition. Then I realized I had made no plans, bought no food, hadn’t cleaned, didn’t know if we had liquor or soda, or for that matter, even water. And yet, when we got home, there was a feast. The table groaned with the casseroles, meat platters, breads, drinks and desserts. A sweet acquaintance, the father of one of Jon's friends, brought huge trays of pasta and meats and god only knows what all from his restaurant. Another friend stayed away from the funeral to keep an eye on our house, knowing that sometimes people are robbed when they are at a funeral. How kind of him.

The police escorted us to and from the church, stopping the entire town’s commerce for us and for our son, the same kid who had made their lives more difficult just a few years earlier with his teenage hijinks. And yet, they were there when we needed them.

Now, some 16 years later, I still carry the memory of everyone's generosity and their selfless gifts of themselves when I needed it most. But I never realized how much of a gift I had given them. I say this with all humility, but it is true. Today I had a friend tell me, “Please come, I need you.” The situation is dire, and they will hear today whether there is hope or whether they should prepare for the end. It will mean that we may be delayed another day, but what is a day when a life’s course is being decided. If we can go to them and hold them in their hour of need, is that not a gift of great measure?

I’m going to stop and buy a twelve-pack of a great new beer we’ve discovered, get it icy cold, and drink it with them. We’ll drink to life, either way. I won’t know until we get there, and the news may be more than I want to deal with, but I’ll do it because they have more to handle than we do, and if we can help them shoulder this burden, that’s a mitzvah, as they say in Yiddish. A good thing. A gift that gives back, filling the heart with love, and the knowledge that someone needed you, and you were able to be there for them.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Slow Movin' Shooters

As I sit here in Elysburg, Pennsylvania, two tables of jewels that I spent hours and hours making now lying in the sun and sparkling at all who pass by – and they are indeed passing by – I am struck by the shapes and sizes of the American trap enthusiast.

I estimate that the median age of the American trap shooter is 68, and the average shape is potato. The usual outfit, not surprisingly, is a t-shirt and jeans or shorts, with a baseball cap advertising something. This is most often topped off with a shooting vest, one of those cotton and mesh contraptions with a million pockets, loops and snaps which are meant to accommodate shooting paraphernalia. Most shooters are men, but increasingly, women are trying their luck at eagle-eye marksmanship and doing quite well. I predict that one day there will be no ladies’ events and no men’s events – just people events. Which women will win, as we are very keen of eye and quite adept at watching two things at once, a prerequisite for excellence in doubles shooting.

What’s most interesting about the American shooter is the pace of his stride. Turtle doesn’t begin to describe it. When you can count one-thousand-one, one-thousand-two between each footstep, you know that’s a slow walker. As a sociological group, women haven’t quite mastered the pace, but I do see them slowing down, and unfortunately, gaining weight as they walk, the negative caloric impact of their perambulatory rhythms showing up before they even finish the promenade. The way we women gain weight, you can easily go from size 10 to size 14 by the end of a shooter’s walk.

The sad side for me about women shooters is they tend to eschew the bling in favor of the sexy shorts, tees and tiny vests. So nobody’s buying from Betty. The other category is wife-of-shooter, who so far have viewed and commented on the jewelry, but have not ponied up the dough. The usual comment is, “Pretty things. But I don’t have my wallet.”

Then what are you carrying in that big satchel? And by the effing way, why are you wearing four-inch heels at a trap shoot? And I’m not talking about first-timers, either. Those women you can forgive, but it’s the ones who I’ve seen several times before, who seem to think this is a runway event, and they must dress accordingly. And still, they don’t buy jewels! Who then, I have to ask myself.

Where is my consumer target? Probably manning the many booths that sell guns (of course), gun equipment, t-shirts, vests, sweat shirts, baseball hats, watches with little guns on their faces, RV equipment, gloves, shoes, sneakers and various other male-type must-haves. My next-door neighbor Patty is selling shooting glasses, oversized specs with lenses of yellow, orange, red and purple, the better to see the target with my dear. She’s been a lot of fun to talk with, and she’s helped me pass the hours happily frying in the sun because it’s so windy my canopy wouldn’t stand a chance.

And just because I decided to give my incredibly astute observations about shooters, two young, and three skinny, ones have just passed by. I may well have to change my opening paragraph. No, now that I look up from my keyboard, that was just an aberration. Here come six more potatoes. I could write a novel by the time they pass this table. And aren’t you lucky I don’t have it in me today

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Why Are You On Crutches?

DEAR PAM,

In the past month we have had a few mishaps --
In Tennessee I fell out of the bus and fractured/bruised my sternum--
Then the awning motor died so we tied it with the dog's leash and anchored it by closing the door on the leash--
Which bent the door and locked us inside with a jammed latch--
So we enlisted the aid of a really fat biker who got us a ladder--
Which I climbed out onto (with sore chest) and promptly fell off the top step--
Breaking my pelvis, after which we--
Blew a turbo motor so were confined to a hotel for a long weekend--
Because they sent the wrong part and we had to wait for five days for the new one--
And we finally got going and took a turn too fast (my bad) --
Which spilled the contents of the refrigerator--
Which got John so mad he left me to clean it up--
Which got me so mad I used his bath towel to do so--
Then I slipped on the towel and probably broke whatever had healed--
So John didn't dare ask me to guide him into the campground spot--
And the woman who helped giggled as she led him into a wood post--
Scraping the side of the bus--
So that's why I'm still on crutches.

They make a good weapon.

Betty

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

New Yorkers in Carolina

Greensboro NC
Waiting for a part for the Coach

A block or so away from the University of North Carolina sits a nice little deli called, appropriately enough, North Carolina Deli. We gave it a shot. It smelled good and pickle-y when we walked in, and the menu looked pretty decent. Among the many selections were bagels, lox, bialys, smoked herring, chicken soup, pastrami, kosher pickles, brisket, and even Dr. Brown's Cream Soda.

Looking up from his menu, John said, "No matzoh ball soup."

Then he added, "Carolina Posers."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Please Help Me I'm Falling

Buddy Gregg RV Dealership
Knoxville, TN
Sunday Afternoon

I fell out of the bus a couple of days ago. And no, it wasn’t moving. I slipped sideways in my sandals and headed – and I do mean head – down and out and onto the grass, where I pirouetted on my noggin, slammed a shoulder, cracking my neck and landing flat on my back, praying I’d be able to walk at some point in the future. Thank god for grass, any way you take that.

What I got for my troubles was a bruise the size of a brick extending from my clavicle, over my left girl and down to my ribs, where it crosses over in perfect symmetry to my left arm. Which, if I were a forensic pathologist, would tell me exactly how the victim fell. It also got me a trip to the hospital and the news that I’d also bruised my sternum, which is why, I guess, I have not been able to lift anything using two arms in synchronization, cough, or clap in that veddy British way with arms extended towards the clapee.

I fall a lot.

Once I tripped on a sidewalk pothole, grabbing my partner Frank’s raincoat and pants on the way down. He had to peel my frozen, curled claw off his person before he could help me into a cab to go to the hospital for my broken ankle. He went on to our appointment and had to borrow a stapler from the receptionist to fix the seam of his pants, which had torn from crotch to belt line. Needless to say, he stood to make the presentation.

A year later, I broke my wrist falling in another sidewalk pothole. New York City is a dangerous place for me. I got myself into my car, cradling the throbbing limb on a file folder, and headed home. When I called my husband to tell him of my mishap, he offered this suggestion: “Why don’t you stop at a hospital on the way home and see if it’s broken.” I guess he’s a little over-stimulated on the falling/breaking thing. Needless to say, the man drove me to the emergency room. Every time’s a first time for me.

Then there was the time I was standing perfectly still, holding onto a shopping cart while I looked around to enjoy the bling and baublery of the seasonal Christmas Store, you know, the one that sells patio furniture the rest of the year, and next thing I knew both the cart and I were sideways on the floor.

I don’t know why I fall. Is it the fault of my ears? The fluid in the semi-circular canals? Do I need a refill? Is it the fault of my parents, who obviously each contributed a recessive gene for lack of balance when I was being manufactured? Is it my brain, which goes into meditative mode whenever it has a chance, and doesn’t alert me to things like, oh, say, danger?

Oh my god, that’s it. It’s all of those things. That and some minor deafness. This is what lets me write while my husband is walking around fuming, the dog is whining and the coach is making weird engine noise, obviously the cause of the fuming and whining. Maybe the dog was fuming and John was whining. Anything’s possible.

Like the fact that we were trapped in this bus today for over an hour with no sign of rescue. The short story is, John tied our recalcitrant non-obedient electric awning with the dog’s leash so that we could drive to the dealer, with whom we were to have dealings with on Monday anyway. It's always something.

He pulled the rope inside and slammed the door to secure his efforts. When we got to the dealer to drop off the bus, we discovered we couldn't get out. The thick rope had jammed the door and the lock would not function.

Now in case it hasn’t occurred to you, this was Sunday and nobody was home to help us. We drove around until we happened upon a motorcyclist in leather chaps with the price tag hanging off them. ($379, holy sh#t, that's a lot of money.)

He very nicely went around to the side of the bus and got our ladder out so we could escape. I went first, sore ribs and all, and skipping here a few ins and outs and you try this and I’ll try that, we finally decided to cut the beloved dog leash, the one that’s been dragging through the mud for two years, so dirty no dog worth his fleas would choose to wear it, but my husband loves it because it’s really long.

John cut the outside and I tugged from the inside. No use. So we switched places. I was to climb the ladder, take the hammer, wedge it in the door and create space for the tugger to pull the rope through. I wedged and wedged and wedged. Nothing. Then the hammer popped out of the door and I fell off the ladder. Of course I did. My sore chest is now back to square one in the hurtin’ department, and I now have a groin pull in addition to the bruised sternum.

After I caught my breath and my heart slowed to a reasonable 200 beats per minute, I took the inside shift and the leash came sliding out – which of course sent me backwards and I fell, but only into the driver’s seat. That didn’t hurt at all.

I opened the door, then turned around and headed for the Advil. Doing the safest thing I could imagine, I tucked myself into my little breakfast booth, turned on the computer, and began to finish this article while John cleaned up our rescue attempts.

Suddenly I was aware of whining. Oh no, another problem. But it wasn’t. It was Zeus, smiling up at me, his ugly, filthy, peed-upon, germy leash affixed to his collar and, in the middle, a nice, neat square knot.

I laughed for five minutes. And it hurt everything, everywhere, the whole time.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Shotgun Shooters Stingy Hooters

White Pine Tennessee
Hog Heaven Gun Club

Now I am familiar with the adage “Southern Gentleman” and I assume that means great manners, true regard for women, generosity towards one’s kin, and drinking prodigiously but holding it well.

Maybe I’m too far North, and maybe I’m in too unusual a niche, but Tennessee shooters are the stingiest men I’ve ever met when it comes to their wimmen. They waltz past my display of lovely jewels, fairly priced, and make comments like, ‘Wayl, mah wife in’t into this nemore. (sic)”

No woman into jewelry? Okay, maybe three women in this country, but are they polygamists and do they only marry shooters? My big, flower-decorated sign announcing that Mother’s Day is just two weeks away is greeted with snorts and silly smiles, as if these women hadn’t ever borne Southern children, washed Southern overalls, or spent lonely weekends alone with the Jewelry Channel because ol’ Boone, or Charley, or Whit was out at the range, shooting targets at $39 a round, shooting the breeze with his cronies and shooting the spice out of his woman by neglecting her so thoroughly.

And by the way, my husband is a shooter with Giants games in the off season, but he’s sweet and generous and thoughtful, and he never begrudges my Jewelry Channel purchases.

No wonder these old farts think the wahf jist isn’t into it. They haven’t brought her home a little surprise in years and she’s lost all hope.

And I do allow for those guys who’ve brought little gifts home, only to have them returned the next day. That’s disheartening, to say the least, and can kill a guy’s instinct for the romantic gesture. But most women are smart enough not to do that – at least on a consistent basis – and instead, tuck the major gaffes into a drawer, offer some unusual sexual favor, if you get my drift, and the next day, take him shopping and show him what they like. That’s male adult education and I know from experience that it works.

What’s the harm in a sweet and thoughtful little gesture that costs him, oh say, $40? Consider: A three-day shooting event, with three 100-shot target events each day at an average of $35 per event. That’s a $315 investment, plus the side bets that can cost $25 each. For example, who shoots the second lowest with no matching score and is wearing green that day, something on that order. Next there’s breakfast, lunch and dinner, for I have never seen a shooter, ever, with his own brown bag lunch. It just isn’t done. That’s a conservative $75 for the weekend. Oh, and lest we forget, those shotgun shells cost a dollar apiece, so add in $90. Do I hear $500 dollar weekend? Not counting gas? Oh yes.

So isn’t the little woman worth a ten-percent tip for staying behind with junior and Ellie Mae and the two dogs and the house and god forbid, no car? Or does he hope Jethro from next door will drop by with a bottle of Southern and lascivious intentions, thereby eliminating the need for him to administer some Southern Comfort of his own on his return, such as it is, dirty, exhausted and where’s the heyl’s dinner anyway?

So here I sit on a Tennessee Saturday afternoon, my lovely, lonely wares on a picnic table covered with black velvet, my nose running because it’s kind of cold and windy under this lean-to, my lacerations, contusions and sore ribs throbbing from the fall out of the bus earlier this weekend, but that’s another story.

I don’t know why I expected it to be any different, but I did think I’d sell some stuff. After all, I made $500 in Arizona and the shoot was much smaller. But then again, those were westerners, not southerners. And that place wasn’t called Hog Heaven.

Come to think of it, that was my first clue. Missed it completely.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Crossing Oklahoma

With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow
There's a bright golden haze on the meadow
A gust full of dust makes my hairdo go bust
And I feel like I'm blowing clear up to the sky

Oh what a beautiful morning
Oh what a beautiful day
The wind here's beyond merely breezy
Feels like we're blowing away

It's so shocking
How we're rocking
Hold the wheel and say a prayer
For this tussle
You need muscle
And a ros'ry to help get you there

Oh what a beautiful morning
Oh what beautiful day
It's fun when the bus takes you sideways
Oh Lord we're blowing away.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Aunt Who Sends Rocks

March 30
Holbrook, AZ

Dear Courtney & Timmy,

Uncle John is laughing at me. I just sent you a package and he says, “You sent our niece and nephew cotton, and now you’re sending rocks? What kind of a weird aunt are you?”

I guess pretty weird. But I get excited about things I have never seen before, and want to share them with you.

First, one of the rocks is a polished piece of petrified wood from the Petrified Forest in Arizona. Here’s the story: During the dinosaur age, that desert area of Arizona was a lush and humid jungle. Trees grew and died and with the change of weather they were eventually buried under three major layers of dirt and silica (and something else) that preserved them from rotting. The silica seeped into the xylem and phloem of the wood and turned it into rock – quartz, mica, hematite, even amethyst, which are all semiprecious stones.

Millions of years later, upheavals in the earth cause these stone trees to come up through the layers of rock that had preserved them. I took some pictures, and the land is covered with what looks like uncut wood from a woodpile, except when you get close up and see that they are petrified. The bigger specimens actually still look like whole trees. Amazing.

I also got you a couple of bracelets made of polished bits of petrified wood so you could see all the colors.

Later, we went through the Painted Desert where you could easily see all the layers of sediment that piled up over time.

When we arrived at our campground in Holbrook, Arizona, it was surrounded by all these really strange, really black boulders. When I asked about them, the camp host told me they were lava. Mt. Taylor, nearby, erupted 225,000 years ago, blew off its peak, and spewed lava in the area. It hasn’t blown since. That lava I sent you is 225,000 years old. Doesn’t look like much, but still …

Look, I know you guys are sophisticated teens and almost teens, about the coolest people I know in this world. But I hope these rocks will mean something to you, even if it’s just that your weird aunt and crazy uncle are thinking of you as we bop around this country. We would have wrapped up the horses and sent them, but I wasn’t sure your parents would appreciate two more mouths to feed.

See you soon, I promise.
Love
Aunt Betty

Monday, March 22, 2010

Pity Me Please

Mesa, AZ
Mesa Spirit RV Campground

Pity me, world, for I have lost so much. I’m retired, you see, and things just aren’t the same.

First, I lost my job writing ads for cranky clients, with recent college graduates opining such profundities as, “Women don’t bathe with rubber ducks.” Instead, I have discovered writing for myself, and while I am my own worst critic, I don’t make myself angry when I criticize me.

I lost my partner and employees in the deal too. Then again, we’re still emailing, so I guess we’re friends. That’s nice.

Then I lost two acres of land and a house. Actually two acres and a skosh, if you count the condo. And my beautiful BMW. Now my house is on wheels, and we’re towing a little Jeep. It’s not a BMW, but it gets me there.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my alarm clock. Now I have to depend on the sun and the birds and the warm air drifting in my window to wake me up. It’s a sacrifice, I know, but we’re on a budget, so I’m not replacing that clock.

I lost my dishwasher, but it’s amazing how clean your nails get when you dunk them in sudsy water for five minutes once a day. I haven’t lost my dishes, though. They’re still in the cabinet, right behind the paper plates, if memory serves.

I’ve lost my schedule. Sometimes I do the laundry on Monday, sometimes not. (Sometimes not at all.) The same with cleaning. In fact, I downsized my vacuum for a Swiffer and damn if it isn’t the quietest thing in the world. I have all the cleaning products I ever had at home, but they’re happier in the closet these days and I hate to disturb them.

If all this gives you the impression that I retired to become a housekeeper in a bus, let me assure you that this was a bargain I struck when I discovered that the other jobs available were dump and water hookup, engine maintenance and heavy lifting.

I didn’t lose my dog and he still sheds a lot. And your point is?

Interestingly, I’ve also lost my wallet. I do carry a couple of credit cards around, but I let the old guy take care of all the cash transactions. I hear the Queen of England never carries cash either. It’s just so … plebian.

Which leads me to another financial loss: my money worries. For some reason, being on a budget, spending less and beating the challenge of having a fabulous life anyway are incredibly gratifying. If you had told me this three years ago, I would have laughed out loud, waved my seven credit cards in your face and driven away in my BMW to my huge house and huge bills.

I’ve lost other stresses too, but honestly, stress has a way of sneaking up on me. That’s just the way I am. However, OMG we’re out of coffee is a small one compared to OMG we’re out of clients.

I’ve lost my bicycle. It was hanging on the back of the motor coach, slipped off its moorings and one wheel got stuck on the exhaust pipe. The bike melted. I’m serious; not just the tire, but the metal parts too. I’ll get a new one. One of these days.

Retirement is all about loss. You lose a lot of things you never wanted in the first place, some things you hadn’t even known you didn’t want, and a couple of things you probably should replace.

I lost nights alone without my husband’s back to rest my icy feet on. I lost working around the clock – and I was in advertising, so you can believe that one. I lost my three-hour commute on a jammed-up highway. I lost my high heels. I think they’re in a box somewhere. In losing those three-inchers, I lost my ability to walk in them, but I also lost two throbbing corns. I’m ahead of the game.

What else have I lost? I can’t even remember. But there’s another side to this coin, as you may have guessed.

Wait until the next chapter. I haven’t even begun to tell you what I’ve gained.

Betty

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Challenge of Change

Sedona AZ

Dear Mrs. Cast,

Thank you for your comments on my blog. They are very much appreciated. And you came to the right girl for advice. So here’s my take on retiring to an RV full time.

I feel your pain.

But like all change, it’s really the anticipation that is scary. I should know. When I went into labor with my second child, I decided I just wasn't having this baby. I'd changed my mind. Guess what.

Once you commit to any life, whether it’s retirement, period, with all its adjustments, or moving to another part of the country, or downsizing, or god forbid moving in with the kids, it’s unnerving. Especially that kids thing, oy.

But the reality of this turtle living, moving around with your home on your figurative backs, is that it doesn’t have to be permanent. You can always change your mind. Encourage your reluctant spouse to think of it as a nice long, protracted vacation adventure, with lots of time for visiting with friends and family, lots of fun exploring new sights, foods, people and places, lots of learning that will undoubtedly keep your mind agile even if your back is growing achy, your knees are giving out and your hearing’s getting more selective by the day.

And you can stop doing it the minute you get bored, or begin to long for dirt. That’s the only thing I’ve missed in two years on the road, dirt. A nice little plot to put seeds in, nurture and watch grow into beautiful flowers. I missed the decorating thing for a while, but buying a couple of pillows for the couch seemed to staunch that fire. They’re on the floor as I write this, making a nice resting place for our smelly little dog. So much for living in style.

Seriously, I’m not going to be 95 and hauling ass all over America. I’m going to be rocking and knitting. Then again, I could well move that rocker into the bus and haul my bony old self up to Alaska for just one more look. I have every option in the world, you see.

That’s the beautiful part of the rest of our lives. We still have all the choices in the world, and all the world to discover.

But the pain, oh the pain, of giving up your stuff. Your house, your furniture, your washing machine, your rake, your trash compacter, your closet with those clothes you haven’t worn in years, those knick knacks you’ve forgotten to dust for three months.

You get my drift. What I discovered was that I was holding onto a concept of hearth and home that had little, if any, basis in reality. Things don’t make a home. You do. And you will turn wherever you are into your home and love it as much as that house with its dust bunnies under the bed, air conditioner that dies on the hottest day, and washing machine that burps if you put clothes in it.

It took my husband three years to get me to sell my thriving business, abandon my partner and employees, my brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances, sell my beautiful house, pretty condo and BMW and trade it all for – let’s get real here – the future of my marriage and the safety of our nest egg. We were simply living too high on the hog, accent on the hog.

Once I finally committed to this big change, I surprised myself. I got jazzed about it. And I began to see what really mattered to me in my life. For example, where I had been in love with the antique demilune chest with the marble top that graced our entrance and made it elegant, special and unique, I now saw it as a gorgeous box for candles I’d never light, tassels I’d bought and never used, vases I couldn’t throw away and keys to things I couldn’t remember. Plus, it was a catchall for purses, gloves and stuff that wasn’t even decorative. So when someone at the garage sale offered me the same price I’d paid for it two years earlier, I happily sold it, even though I’d had every intention of keeping it in storage.

But I kept every picture I’d ever taken of my kids, my Betty Boop collection because it has sentimental value, my brand new mattress, but not the bed, and a couple of bureaus that were so expensive I’d never get what they were worth. We have three rooms full of stored things, and I have been thinking lately of how much it costs to store stuff, and which of those things I couldn’t bear to part with, things that are now just a monkey on my back money-wise, and how I’m going to put most of them on Craig’s List when I get back to New York. So much for what I couldn’t live without. You’ll be amazed. And the money will be really nice if I ever buy a place. All new stuff, how exciting.

I thought I’d miss my friends and family, and while I certainly do miss our regular dinners together, card games visits and the like, I’m actually seeing much more of them than I expected. Wheels can take you anywhere, remember. And I’ve reconnected with old friends who’ve moved away, which is one of the happiest of all my happy experiences. Hanging out with somebody you’ve not seen for twenty years, who is just as great to be with as you remember – that’s a gift.

And thank God for phone and Internet and Facebook and computers with cameras and Skype and all the ways we can stay close no matter where we are.

So you see, dear Mrs. C, home is where you make it. And things are less important than you think. And if you don’t have a patch of dirt to plant, then you buy a portable flower box and throw some seeds in it. And if your friends are far away, you will make more of an effort to stay in touch. Adapting is the name of the game, and change really does shake the tree and help the dead fruit to fall to the ground. The good peaches will stay with you and taste riper and juicier than you ever imagined.

I think I just made the longest metaphor ever attempted by a writer. See? When I lived on my dirt, I could never have done that. The dryer would have dinged and I’d have to fold clothes. It just wouldn’t have happened.

Oh, and by the way, before you leave, tell your husband he’s now in charge of his own laundry. You’re not retiring to become a housekeeper. It’s bad enough you’ll have to toss those paper plates in the garbage. That’s enough housework for any woman.

Love Betty

Monday, March 15, 2010

A MESSAGE FOR PAM

Get well quick, you have babies to deliver!! Love from Betty & John

Time for Reflection

Verde Valley AZ
Outside of Sedona

We learned a day late that it was now Daylight Davings Time, so late Sunday night we made a couple of our key clocks Spring Ahead.Good thing, because we had to get up really early this morning to get to the RV dealer for a new pump that would correct a water pressure problem. We had a 9 a.m. appointment so we could get the job done and get on the road asap. Except we arrived at 7:45.

They don't have daylight savings in Arizona. It and Indiana are the only two states that don't change the clocks. Who knew.

Now I can't figure out what time it is anywhere, including here and wherever you are. I know that some of the clocks are right, and some are wrong. But which ones are which- watch, microwave, computer, alarm clock, kitchen clock, second watch in the drawer, car radio???? I give up. I think it's 5, but that's only because I'm on the computer. If I were making coffee, it'd be 4. Unless I were using the microwave, which, for some reason, insists it's just 2:30.

Maybe it was made in Indiana.

Betty

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

Just Outside of Phoenix

Today is my birthday, and damn if it doesn’t feel a lot different from what I imagined it would when I was 35. It feels wonderful. I woke up feeling super energized, came out to find all my beautiful pink roses with their heads bowed in supplication to my advanced age, made a pot of perfect coffee and opened my computer and went to Facebook in my pj’s.

There, thanks to modern technology, hundreds of friends I haven’t seen in 20 years were wishing many happy returns and letting me know that they were thinking of me. How great for the ego is that.

The people I love most in my life all called, all except my brother Pat, who is not a caller but is a wonderful writer, so I’m sure I’ll hear from him before the day is out. My son Jeff called me twice, emailed me once, sent me a gift online and put a fabulous tribute to my mothering abilities on Facebook for all to see. He is a perfect son, and I shall justly take all the credit, with a small bow to my husband, who did participate.

John gave me a Nook, which is not what you think, but is the Barnes and Noble version of Kindl, the e-book. It was partly because I wanted it, and partly a move in his own self-defense, since I made him to carry all the books I took to Mexico because my luggage was full. Now I can take 12 books with me and it will weigh no more than my hair dryer, which I should have left home but also dragged along.

We took off and went from California to Arizona, and Mr. Gotta Get There made the ultimate sacrifice for my birthday and stopped for over an hour in Quartzsite, AZ, where I bought a ton of jewelry making supplies. I loaded my basket with every wonderful rock, gem or mineral I could imagine in a piece of jewelry, then took them up to the little lady at the register.

“You may remember me,” I said. “I was the woman that old guy with the no teeth and hair in his ears insulted about a month ago.”

“Oh!” she said, recognition dawning and fresh anger lighting up her face. “Do me a favor. Tell that story to George. He needs to know that that guy is insulting people. It’s not the first time.”

So I called the young Chinese-American guapo (good looking guy) aside and told him my story. Basically the old guy had made a bad a pun on the concept of picking on a person – a lot of you to pick on or something like that -- and I had really forgotten the lame attempt at humor at my expense. But Barbara hadn’t, and she embellished the insult so artistically that I barely recognized myself. According to her, I was “shakin’ and almost cryin’.”

Not true, but it sounded so compelling, I was tearing up just thinking about myself being royally strafed in public, humiliated beyond anything I’d ever experienced, and put down lower than a slug in the Garden of Good and Evil. By the end of her tale, I almost handed myself a spa weekend to recover.

The bottom line was, not only did George give me a 10% dealer discount, he cut the total in HALF, and if that weren’t enough, little Barbara, who said her birthday was next week so we were soul sisters, began putting two and three strands of stones into the bag and charging me for one. “This,” she whispered, “is $32 a strand, reduced to $16 less 10%, so you can have both of these for $3.”

My kind of shopping.

Later, as I exited, three guys working on the roof of the Flying J across the street, stopped to watch me cross the street with my haul – so big I had to buy a basket for it all($15, but you can have it for $5).

I was wearing my go-to birthday outfit – nice jeans, my white Easy Spirit slip-on sneaks, the new ones, not the old dirty ones, and a white tank top that I probably should have worn a jacket over but didn’t. I wasn’t exactly Dolly Parton, but neither was I Totie Fields. I still had it. I felt great.

They hooted, whistled and yelled at me. I waved back. After all, they were only being kind. And it was my birthday, so what the heck. Just then, a big section of roof hit the ground. One of them yelled, “Hope you weren’t startled.”

Now you can take what you will from that tale. Were they appreciating my total togetherness at such an advanced age, or were they just convinced I was about to walk under the falling roof.

You already know what I think. Please don’t tell me any different. Unless, of course, you’re planning on giving me at least 50% off.

Happy Birthday to Me.

Betty

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Waiting in the Desert

Desert Hot Springs, CA

What is it with the desert? Every time we show up here, it rains. I thought it never rained in the desert, but the last time we were here it rained for a solid four days and flooded everything.

it just showered, but I see the sun is out now, so I can venture over to the Craft Show they're having today at the Sands RV and Golf Resort, where we are currently parked, waiting for our windshield to be replaced. It's a long story.

The short version is this. We went to Cabo (see my blog below) for three weeks and left the new bus with the dealer for tweaks and repairs, among them the replacement window and a new thermometer for the blown one in the dryer. When we returned, everything but those two things had been done, so we're stuck here until the parts arrive and we can be made whole again.

We're not stranded, however, because we're near Irwin and Randy, old friends who have delighted us with their willingness to spend this week with us, cooking great meals, hanging out playing Whist, May I, Mexican Train dominoes and laughing a lot. Last night Irwin's friend Lawson came for dinner, and I got him to cut my hair. He did a great job, saving not only my purse, but my shaggy self as well. You can't get more services from these guys than a fire on the patio, steaks on the grill, a nice glass of wine, some really great stories and a haircut. I will miss them when we leave.

On Monday we head back to Irvine, then hopefully on Tuesday we'll be on our way east. It's a good thing too, because it's about to rain again here in the desert. We must have some strange effect on the weather. If we stay here any longer, we could just turn this vast wasteland into a lush valley. And wouldn't that be a shame.

Betty

Where in the World Am I

Desert Hot Springs, CA

I see from the list that I haven't posted much in February. Oops. But there is a reason.

We spent most of the month at our timeshare in Cabo San Lucas, at the bottom of the Baja peninsula in Mexico. Our partners for this vacation adventure were Joyce and Marty Kaplan, and it was absolutely wonderful. In case you're interested, here's what we did: ate a lot of Mexican food, drank a lot of Margaritas, drank some more Tequila, laid our fat, sated selves down on lounge chairs by the pool and read, played Scrabble, played cards and did I say read? We put away at least 25 books between us. I read nine myself.

After literally begging John to take some of my books so we wouldn't have to pay an overweight fee on the plane, I am beginning to see the wisdom of a Kindl, even though I have staunchly resisted the electronic book, arguing that the feel of a real book, the smell of the paper and the weight of it in my hands are all an important part of the reading experience. Now I'm not so sure.

My birthday's next Wednesday, and I can pretty much guarantee you that I'll get an e-book from my husband. He's a strong believer in load-lightening. I threw away four t-shirts yesterday and he cheered, convinced that now the bus will ride higher and smoother with less weight on board. To get even with this crazy man, I bought four salad bowls, They weigh more than the t-shirts. The next time he crows about how much easier the bus is to drive, I'll make a big salad and haul out those bowls.

And smile to myself.

John's Tornado Story

A couple of years ago, John took our then bus out to somewhere in the middle of America for a trap shooting event. On the second day, they heard news of tornadoes in the area, but continued the shoot. It was really hot, and the group took shelter from the sun under a temporary lean-to, erected for that purpose. John was sitting in his golf cart under the lean-to when the sky turned from blue to dark grey and the winds became fierce.

Someone shouted, "Get out, it's going." And the lean-to began to sway in the wind. John fumbled with the keys, got the motor going and chugged out of the way, just as a huge gust took the structure down. It also took John down.

He was blown out of the cart, which continued on its way and drove straight into a Port-A-San, knocking it over. A man came running towards him, shouting "Are you okay? Are you okay?"

John was a little bruised and bloody, but it was only minor, so he assured the man that he was fine.

"No," the man said. "I mean my wife. She's in the Port-A-San."

You can't make things like this up.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Aloe to You Too

Mission Bay CG
San Diego, CA

With all the snow and the water leak and the dryer isn’t working either, I did what any same woman would do once she reached dry land. I went shopping.

There is a mall nearby in San Diego, and of course any woman reading this will understand the lure. You men, just try to imagine. Think football game and you’ll get the idea.

In this mall is a Bed Bath & Beyond, one of the most wonderful stores in the world, a browser’s delight, an impulse purchaser’s dream. (And I needed that electric duster, Bernie! Truly I did.)

I reined in my raging impulses, however, and prepared to exit the store with only a few items, when I passed by one of those kiosks with the video of an exciting new product. As shown on TV! OMG. I paused and watched as six ugly models with disgusting hair became swans with the application of this fabulous hair thingy with the rolling hot barrel and hairbrush combo designed to straighten and smooth your hair in just one minute.

And it was only $99. Wow. A beauty bargain if I ever saw one. I looked in the TV monitor and saw the reflection of my fuzzy unkempt hair and lusted after this remarkable revolution. I was the target market all right. I could have been the pinspot inside of the bullseye that every arrow wants to pierce. I wanted that thing. I still can’t think of its name, but I sure wanted it.

My fuzzy hair and I left the store without the miracle product. Given that I had never spent more than $30 for any kind of hair dryer, hair comb, brush, straightener or curler, I thought $99 a mite excessive. Like all those TV products, it would come down from the pricing stratosphere in time.

But this kind of lust doesn’t go away, even in a cold shower. The mind is a terrible thing.

I thought. I equivocated. I longed. I lusted. I caved. I reasoned that the one box of stuff that didn’t make it from the old coach to the new one was my box of “product” --and I’m not making a grammatical error here; that is indeed what they are called. (And why it didn’t make it boggles the mind, since we were parked next to each other in the parking lot and all we had to do was transfer stuff out one door and into the other, but that’s obviously another story.)

Here’s my logic: Sixteen bottles of shampoo, conditioner and hair spray, one ordinary dryer, one high speed dryer, one flatiron, two curling irons – that had to add up to $100, right? I’d actually be saving a dollar if I bought this new revolutionary gotta-have-it.

So two days later, I went back and bought it.

It worked like a dream, turning my curly mess into smooth straight locks in ten seconds flat. And no wonder. The barrel of the roller must have been 212 degrees. That baby was smokin’ – or maybe that was my hair. In any event, it delivered. I began to feel better about the $99. Although I didn’t save the dollar, since there’s tax in California.

Then Saturday morning, preparing for a lovely outing to Old Town San Diego, I decided to get straight. I turned on the juice, heated up my straightener, applied it to my errant locks, and promptly burned the left side of my face. Ow. Owowow. I splashed on cold water, finished my hair and pulled it over the burn, now turning bright red and becoming sort of incredibly painful.

The hair-over-the-face trick didn’t work and John soon became aware that I looked like an abused wife and started to ask questions. Not to worry, I said.

The good thing about Old Town is that they believe in cactus, and among the plantings were several that looked to my New York eyes like they might be aloe. I broke off a piece of the nearest cactus, squeezing the juice onto the burn and smiling triumphantly.

Then the left side of my face turned day-glo yellow. I realized I could have been applying yucca or saguaro juice to a third-degree burn and turning my face a clownish tint for the rest of my life. John said nothing except, "You missed the burn." I moved the jelly over an inch and covered the sore part I hadn't wanted to touch. Now the entire cheek was yellow. I got some strange looks in the old style cantina we visited for lunch. Maybe they liked my hair.

Two days later, I still have the burn mark. It still hurts, but my hair is still straight, so there’s comfort in that. The yellow has faded around the burn mark, but the burn itself still glows iridescent. And I still haven’t looked up an aloe plant on Google Images.

Why bother. I have that leaf in the refrigerator and I’m thinking it might make a good eye shadow, and that’s another $6.50 I would have saved. I am so thrifty I just can’t believe myself.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Sis

Dear Sue,

Your birthday card sits stamped and soggy on my dashboard, the victim of an unexpected six inches of snow and hail that hit us hard in Julian California.

Who knew this effing place was in the mountains and there would be an effing snow storm that left us stranded !  Oh, yeah, now I remember.   It was free.  Never trust anything free. 

This was a new "upscale" campground and all we had to do was listen to a 90-minute lecture.  We left the desert, the flooded, soggy, gritty, dirty desert with its four days of rain and climbed steadily upwards in the rain, until the rain turned to hail and we turned to each other with one of those "uh-oh" looks.  By the time we reached the campground, it was hailing so hard it was painful.

And the "resort" was unoccupied.  Nobody home.  Of course it was.  It was a GD snowstorm and they weren't going to get stuck in it.  We pulled in and got ourselves up to the highest point, the lowest having flooded so bad, all the new picnic tables were now under water.  We hunkered down for the night.  Thank you God for a generator and a tank full of fresh water.  A knock on the door brought us upright. 

"You're parked in the construction workers' parking lot," said a genial sort, a worker type. 

And here we stay. 

"Everybody's gone."  We know, we know.  But we're here for the night and we'll get out in the morning.

We had franks and beans and Kraft dinner.   Comfort food.  Played cards, then went to bed.  The bus rocked us to sleep in the thousand-mile-an-hour winds. 

The next morning we awoke to six inches of snow.  Oh Lordy.  I couldn't put the slides in because the snow on them was cemented into place.  Our ladder is only four feet tall, so John scouted up a bigger ladder and got up to brush it off with the only things we had available: the sponge mop and the spatula.  I held the ladder.  Every bit of snow he brushed off landed smack on my head.  He was in that "crutzarackaracka" mood like the Dad in "A Christmas Story" and I was laughing my ass off, only to myself because he definitely would not have looked kindly on my amusement.  He was wet, cold and his supposedly waterproof raincoat was dripping red dye everywhere.  He swore he was bleeding.  It must have felt that way.  His efforts were heroic.

I held the ladder, wore snow and chuckled in silence.

Of course I had to take pictures.  Here's me with seven layers of clothes on, including two fleeces and two scarves.  If John was the father in "A Christmas Story," I was the little brother who fell down in the snow and couldn't get up. 

Meanwhile, the door to the coach stayed open, and snow came in and soaked your card.  That's all right; it was a dorky card anyway.  I'll send it as soon as it dries.

Meantime, I hope you have a most wonderful birthday.  I certainly will enjoy it.  I'm warmer and drier in San Diego, and thinking of you.  I love you to the stars.  Sorry about the card.

Love
Betty

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Private Collection

Chula Vista, CA

We went to the San Diego Zoo today.  We've been before with the kids, but we decided to go to the zoo, because when we got to Sea World, our original destination, it was $17 to park and $69 per adult to get in.  For $155 Shamu would have had to cook me a meal and serve me a martini on one of his flippers.  No thanks.

So instead we headed for the zoo, where we sat on our butts and rode the trolley, then took the sky ride, then called it a day.  It was a great decision.

I'm starting a collection of favorite sayings, mis-speaks and funny observations, and  thinking this would make a great little book.  So if you'd like to add a few of your own favs, just send them to me and I'll credit you if they ever end up between the covers.

All of these except one were first-hand comments, and by regular people who just happen to say what they said at a particular time and place and I never forgot them.  So, in no particular order:

Whatever comes, I eat.
        Frank DeVito

There's a man cremated for every woman.
        Stu Kuby

She's so loose mints on the desk.
        Mary Reynolds

There ain't no 28 cent pig.
        Anon.  Overheard on the street

Never little in de lake.
        Anon.  Advice given to my children by an old black woman.
        Little:  litter

It's cold.  Better put on your thermos.
        Lottie

I had an atomic pregnancy.
        Thelma

I'm going to get some of that Paramus for my bathroom.
        Thelma

Your chirren been actin up.
        Lottie

Them teeth needs a toof broth.
        Sidney

Koran Tabu
        Baby named after favorite book and favorite perfume
        Thelma's grandson

You do too know the gas station man:  You say his name every time.
Philip Regular
        Jeff, Age 4

Mom!  A chocolate policeman!
        Jeff, Age 4

I don't like that wicky wacky woo.
        Jeff, Age 3, at the car wash

You're not the boss of me
        Jonathan, Age 6, to his Aunt

She's all Monet Jewelry, beige hose, white hat.
        Mary Reynolds, describing an uptight co-worker

Why can't I see that movie?  It is sex and violins?
        Jonathan, Age 8

And finally, the one I didn't hear myself but I made it my mantra:

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
         Katherine Hepburn

There are more to collect, mostly from my own childhood.   I haven't included shobbi, but that's a blog for another day.


Love
Betty

Want a Cup of Coffee?

Chula Vista, CA
Outside of San Diego


 Men have a curiously strange inability to multi-task, I read somewhere, and recently I have witnessed the proof of that theory.  I just asked my husband if he wanted a cup of coffee.  “Want a cup of coffee?” I said.  The pot had been sitting on the counter for two hours and I wanted to dump the unwanted coffee and clean the pot.

“What?” he said, grunting and looking surprised.

“Coffee,” I said.

“What about it?”  he answered.

“Do you want some?”  I replied.

“No, why?” he answered testily, looking up from his computer.

Uh-oh.  Here was my fork in the road.  I could go the good wife route and tell him I was sorry for bothering him and to never mind.  Or, I could go the Betty route and respond with slight pique, “Why do you want coffee?  I don’t know.  Maybe you’d like some.  Then again, maybe I can wash the pot.”

“I’m busy,” he said.  “I can’t think about that now.”

Oh I’m sorry.  I’ll just try and figure out when you are not doing something, or thinking about something, and then I’ll ask.  Like when you’re sleeping, that’s when I’ll ask. 

The other day I asked him a question and he refused to answer me because he was busy turning a key in a lock.  Now that required real concentration and deep mental commitment. 

I guess the point is, we women whose lives revolve around multi-tasking, find this point of difference in the species quite amusing.

Imagine.  You’re doing the laundry, separating the darks from the lights, choosing the cycle, filling the soap dispenser, when little Fauntleroy comes in to confess that he had tossed one of Daddy’s forbidden darts and it somehow landed in Abercrombie’s hair, and there’s blood coming down his face in rivers and you better come quick.

"Can’t you see I’m busy here?Go tell Daddy.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Bus, er, Year.

San Francisco
December 30

The big news is, we have jumped the stick, bought the bullet, closed our eyes and bungee jumped ourselves into a new, bigger, better and way too expensive coach to replace our Beaver and make our current lives so much more worthwhile.  It has better brakes, better acceleration and a stronger, more reliable chassis.  It also has granite counter tops, a ceramic slate floor with the most adorable little black squares, almond leather all around with black piping, a breakfast banquette and a super duper oven, plus washer and dryer, bigger shower and electric toilet.   But I am not one to be swayed by the decor of a thing, as you well know.

Are you LOL yet?

Here's the really LOL part.  We bought this baby in Newport Beach CA, the very  day I wrote my family and said that I was in financial straits and couldn't afford the big Christmas checks I like to write for all the kids.  It was a coincidence, but a poor one, so I haven't told anybody in my family about this ridiculous purchase.  I haven't written about this because they read the blog religiously and would then question my sanity, if not my penury, or my stinginess.

Rest easy, dear one, for I did send the original amount.  Guilt?  Yes, definitely.  But they're great kids and I reasoned that this could be the last hurrah for us.  When we start working at Walmart, we'll cheap out, but until then ...

So that's why I haven't written in the blog until today.   Plus:

The new bus, a Country Coach, was to be prepped and ready on my return from a quick trip to NY for a business reunion of 200 former Young & Rubicam employees.

That meant I had to pack up the Beaver before I left.  Turns out, the new bus wasn't ready on time for our trip north to San Francisco for Christmas with our son, so John unpacked a lot of stuff and stored our other stuff in the new coach -- including some Christmas presents that Jeff never got. 

Oh, men.  Amen. We went to SF in the Beaver. I spent the next two weeks in the clothes I went to NY with, plus a few odd odds and ends I'd left on hangers.  Nevertheless,  Christmas with Jeff was fabulous as always.

The  Monday after Christmas, John flew to Vegas (are you following this?) to pick up the new coach out of state (and save taxes.)  Then he drove back the same day, arriving here in SF at 2:30 in the morning. 

Tuesday we got up at the crack of civilization, and proceeded to throw everything from the Beaver into the new coach.  We had to be done by noon because the salesman was driving the Beaver back to Newport Beach, where a buyer was waiting.  This is one hell of a salesman, let me tell you, and it didn't hurt that he was totally cute and a real ladies' man.  We both liked him immensely.  And John's not gay, as far as I know.

Today we spent the day trying to stuff fifteen pounds of doo-doo into a ten pound bag.  We mostly rearranged things and found that organization does make quite a difference.  Right now, instead of a movie, we are going to Bed Bath and Better Write a Big Check for all the storage items, soap dishes, etc that we cannot live without.  Then we'll have a quick dinner out, and flop into bed to get ready for the New Year. 

My hair isn't exactly blonde to the roots, my nails are like claws so I keep making typos, and I have no idea what to wear to dinner tomorrow night -- perhaps something from the New York trip? -- but all is (almost) put away and I can see that we made the new almond tile floor kind of muddy -- but hey, I can see the floor!   It's pretty.  Call me Pollyanna, but I'm happy.  Poor.  But happy.