Why Are You On Crutches?

DEAR PAM,

In the past month we have had a few mishaps --
In Tennessee I fell out of the bus and fractured/bruised my sternum--
Then the awning motor died so we tied it with the dog's leash and anchored it by closing the door on the leash--
Which bent the door and locked us inside with a jammed latch--
So we enlisted the aid of a really fat biker who got us a ladder--
Which I climbed out onto (with sore chest) and promptly fell off the top step--
Breaking my pelvis, after which we--
Blew a turbo motor so were confined to a hotel for a long weekend--
Because they sent the wrong part and we had to wait for five days for the new one--
And we finally got going and took a turn too fast (my bad) --
Which spilled the contents of the refrigerator--
Which got John so mad he left me to clean it up--
Which got me so mad I used his bath towel to do so--
Then I slipped on the towel and probably broke whatever had healed--
So John didn't dare ask me to guide him into the campground spot--
And the woman who helped giggled as she led him into a wood post--
Scraping the side of the bus--
So that's why I'm still on crutches.

They make a good weapon.

Betty