Trailer Trash Talk

Wednesday August 20, 2008
KOA Campground
Middleboro, MA

We hired a guy to come to the campground and attempt to fix our satellite, which has never worked. This will be our fourth attempt and third outside person to come. We thought he’d forgotten, but Gilberto arrived at 5:30 and brought his tools with him. He’s about 4’10”, in other words, average size for a person from his part of the world, and he has a voice that sounds like Topo Gigio, the little mouse character who made the big time when Ed Sullivan brought him over from Italy. Topo was a sensation in the fifties, and didn’t quite eclipse the Beatles, who arrived somewhat later, but he sure had his following. “Oooh, Eddie.”

In the looks department, Gilberto is first rate. A lovely smile, sparkly eyes, and a disposition of azucar. He probably has seven kids and an extremely satisfied wife.

Gilberto pulled up to our site, parked his marshmallow-white truck and proceeded to assess our problem. He got up on the roof, walked around the camper, surveyed our positioning vis-a-vis Venus I guess, and informed us we were out of line. Whatever that means.

Meanwhile, our next door neighbor, a not-quite ringer for Christina Applegate, tall and blonde and wearing a bikini, with a cigarette hanging from her mouth, and with an attitude that would give the Hulk as he transitioned from human to subhuman a run for his money, decided to have a word with Gil.

“Excuse me, you,” she said. “Do you belong here?”

“I’m fixing their RV,” he replied.

“Well, you’re on our grass. This is our site. You don’t belong here.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Is that your truck?”

Well, who the hell else would have Jose’s Repair Service, TV, Satellite and Electronics, Middleboro, MA, on the side of his truck?

“Yes,” replied Gilberto.

“Well you can’t park it here. You have to move it.”

That’s when John jumped in. “It’s behind our rig,” he explained.

She hmmphed, she really actually hmmphed, then went inside her RV, shapely butt in a twist.

“I think there might have been some prejudice going on just now,” I remarked.

“You think?” said John.

I sure as heck hope Gilberto fixes the problem. He deserves a win today. As for the blonde, I hope she burns the spaghetti sauce and ruins her one pot. A nice red spot on that white bikini wouldn’t hurt either.

Betty