Religious Messages

While John was attending a shooting event in Odessa Florida, I was left to my own devices, so I took more than a few rides in and around Port Richey, Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey, which by the way didn't look any newer than regular Port Richey. But I did see some interesting signs in front of the many churches that dot the area. Here's a sampling:

1. If God seems far away, guess who moved.

This was in front of a temple. I imagined it being said with a Yiddish accent. Then I looked again. It was Bethany Temple, an uber-Christian church, one of many that abound here in the South. Not that their God was any different, or the message any less apt. But the accent was definitely not Brooklyn Jewish.

2. All Saints. It’s All about you.

Now here’s a marketing strategy. I thought church was about God and you were to deny yourself before him. Suddenly the strategy has changed. I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but if it brings them in, who am I to argue?


3. Don’t be a Sunday saint and a Monday ain’t.

Obviously in these parts people speak proper English on Sunday. Hey, it’s a start.


4. And finally, my favorite: God’s Tag Sale. Saturday 10-4.

The economy must really be in bad shape if God himself has to sell off stuff. Of course, the next thing that comes to mind is the stuff that He’s selling. If it’s not the Grand Canyon, and since he built it, I would assume he feels some sense of ownership, then what could it be? Feathers saved from old angel moltings? White robes, unused inventory? Used organ, some pedals not working, needs TLC? Lot, religious badges from all those who believed at one point that they were the only ones allowed inside the pearly gates? Seems to me we ought to be dumping a little more change in the basket on Sunday. Not because I feel sorry for God, but because there isn’t a heck of a market for his cast-offs. Even Lucifer wouldn’t bring that much of a price these days. Not unique enough.